On the journey to becoming a sexual counselor

Studying to become a sex counselor has been a long-term dream and plan of mine. This fall, the time and situation were finally right and I was able to start the renewed Sexology 1 training. So the educational journey is still quite early, but the experience so far has been interesting!

From dream to reality

I first started considering applying for sexual counseling training when I was studying to be a social worker over 10 years ago.

I became interested in human sexuality and how diverse and exciting it is. I decided that this is something I want to work on in the future! I started to absorb as much information as I could, and at the same time I also grew an understanding of what human sexuality can contain and how everything in a person's life affects everything else.

Through a few twists and turns, I ended up in my current job as a salesperson at Erotica Time, and every day I get to work very concretely with the many dimensions of human sexuality. I am truly happy with this great vantage point and the trust of my clients when it comes to sensitive and personal matters.

Actually, when I was applying for a job, I knew that this would also be a place where it would be natural to study for the sex counselor degree I wanted alongside my work. The training is always done alongside my work and is definitely supported by a workplace where themes related to my studies can be reflected upon.

Towards deeper professionalism

For me, studying to be a sex counselor is primarily studying for myself. As an adult, I don't want to study anything just because I want to get a cool-sounding title, but specifically out of my own interest. It's wonderful to get to know the latest non-fiction books and inspiring documentaries, search for information about various phenomena related to sexuality and consider their impact on relationships or other aspects of humanity, for example. You can do this just as well when studying for a degree for yourself!

From the training of a sexual counselor, I hope, above all, to provide tools for dealing with various themes related to sexuality and sex, but also to gain more knowledge about this enormously broad, interesting and central aspect of humanity. Humans are endlessly interesting in the sense that you can never know everything and also perceptions about the same thing live on over the years.

As a sexual counselor, I will be able to provide better information in my current job, but also expand my job description to actual sexual counseling. I am also looking forward to this!

The discussion will focus on your questions.

Sexual counseling is a truly low-threshold discussion aid for various problems and questions related to sexuality and sex.

The purpose is to support the client in finding their own answers to their situation and to provide limited information related to it. Sexual counseling does not involve touching or sex in any form, but focuses specifically on discussion. You can come to sexual counseling alone or together with your potential partner or partners.

Typical issues discussed in sexual counseling include lack of desire and mismatched desires in a relationship, dealing with one's own sexual or gender identity, and body-related considerations. At Erotiikan Aja, we of course have special expertise in sex aids and sex toys. It is also possible to get to know them during the meeting if you wish.

Sometimes people ask if this small self-reflection issue is important enough to warrant seeking sexual counseling. The fact that you're asking yourself this question usually indicates that sexual counseling would likely be helpful! There's no issue so small that it's not worth addressing.

The best thing about sexual counseling is that you don't have to justify your need to anyone, but even the smallest thoughts related to sex or sexuality are allowed to be heard and discussed with a professional. Often, 1-2 visits may be enough, and even the longest client relationships are not necessarily just five-time processes.

Everyday life during studies

My education has started off well with face-to-face and distance learning, as well as small group and pair meetings. I am pleased that the education focuses on working through themes through discussion and reflection, not just through lectures.

The fact that the students have very diverse backgrounds also brings different perspectives. Our group includes many healthcare professionals, for example, but also various social work positions and the erotica field are represented. Each student has their own strengths and the foundation brought to their studies by their education and/or work.

Sexuality counselor training is additional professional training that is completed alongside work, and therefore the actual teaching only takes a few days a month. In the intervals, i.e. between teaching days, there are always both independent tasks and group tasks, which are discussed in a meeting among your own small group. Independent tasks include, among other things, reflection tasks and familiarization with literature and other materials. In addition to these, there is of course internship, work supervision and other training that is carried out throughout the studies.

Breaking down attitudes

The initial phase of the training focuses largely on basic topics and SAR studies. The abbreviation SAR stands for Sexual Attitude Reassessment, which loosely translates to re-evaluating one's own sexual attitudes.

Each of us has different attitudes, perceptions and assumptions about different people and phenomena, even if we are not aware of them. The task of SAR studies is to learn to recognize and be aware of these attitudes and thoughts, and to question them. A professional cannot act according to his or her own personal assumptions or preferences, but it is important to look at things from the client's perspective together with the client, focusing on theoretical knowledge and questions instead of assumptions.

In-depth introduction

At the beginning of the studies, each student was assigned a tutor pair, with whom we do some exercises and oppositions during the studies. The first baptism of fire in getting to know each other was going through a sexual history in both the role of the questioner and the respondent.

The sexual history is a long questionnaire, the questions of which take you from childhood through adolescence to adulthood and to a wide range of themes of sexuality and gender. In real client work, this extensive version is not usually used as such, but as an exercise this was interesting to experience!

It is very rare that when we meet for the first time, we go through our entire life experiences and even sensitive things that we may not have told anyone about before. It is easy to ask questions and as professionals, we expect the client to answer them. It is therefore enlightening to experience the situation from the client's perspective as well.

Getting down to basics

In the early stages of our studies, we have gone through things that we don't always even think about. We have considered how different words people use, for example, about genitals or sex, and how slightly different words suit each of us.

Words have a lot of meaning, but different people may perceive the same word differently. Words that seem neutral may be unpleasant or feel distant to the client. Ideally, a professional uses the same words with the client. Have you ever wondered what kind of words are suitable for your use?

In addition to considering words, we have gone through anatomy and sexual reactions, among other things. Physicality is a part of human sexuality and it is naturally important to consider it. We also thought a little about, for example, the impact of various diseases on the body and sex and how to support the client when the body's situation cannot be influenced.

Regarding the themes of gender and sexual orientation diversity, we had the honor of participating in a lecture day given to us by social psychologist Jussi Nissinen. His experience and education were evident throughout the day and we received a hugely broad cross-section of the themes. We need more of this for everyone who works with people!

New and old winds

My education will last until the end of next spring, meaning I plan to graduate as a sex counselor in May 2026. I already know that before then I will get to explore many interesting themes, discuss, read, and get excited. Stay tuned, because more education-related news is coming soon!

Our entrepreneur Armi is also a sex counselor, so sex counseling is already available in our shop. Feel free to contact us if you have any doubts about whether this is something you would like to work on together with a professional. We are here for you, and soon I will also be working as a trained professional. I am looking forward to it!